Unclean, unclean, unclean

In Bible times lepers had to walk through the streets crying out, "unclean, unclean," so that other members of society would not have to come in contact with them. Not only did they have to suffer with this debilitating disease that ate away at their bodies, they had to endure the humiliation of being social outcasts and living alone.

While many may argue that we are far more accepting of divorce than we used to be, there is still a social stigma that divorced people carry. We walk around with the feeling that there is a great big, scarlet D on the center of our chest. This is especially true when we arrive at church on Sundays.

A few years ago I surveyed over 400 single Christians (most of them divorced). The single most common complaint was, "I feel alone in the midst of 400 or 500 people." Surrounded by children of God, they feel hopeless, alone and struggling to find their place of service in the kingdom. Over the past six years I have realized that the divorced community are not the only ones who feel this way at church. We have singles that feel alone, people who have been restored from public sins that feel alone, everyday members because of feelings of loss or inadequacy feel alone.

So what is the point? Few things are as devastating to our spiritual lives as a feeling of isolation and loneliness. Feeling others look down on us, or at the very least don't accept us in the same manner or fashion as "regular members." For the past six years I feel as though I have been climbing a spiritual Mt. Everest. One day, maybe if I am good enough, if I work hard enough, if I give enough of myself to the kingdom, I will be allowed to return to my full measure of service.

Many of you who know me may laugh at that assertion. Trent! You have served as the local minister, worked in outreach ministries, traveled to Africa on mission trips, taught Bible classes - you have arrived. That is all fine and good until you hear those old stereotypes repeated publicly:

• "We can never really be sure of a divorced persons past."
• "Maybe their actions drove the other person to unfaithfulness."
• "Members of the church may not follow them because they had a divorce in their past."

No matter how much repentance has taken place and no matter how much work has been done, people still view you with a jaundiced eye. There are still lingering doubts in the back of people's minds. Unclean, unclean, unclean!