Restlessness

Father,

Today I wander with a restless spirit. I long to wisk along the wind, or set sail to to some far, exotic land. My spirit wrestles tirelessly with my reason. I long to break the shackles of human bondage to explore, wander and feel truly free.

I am reminded that my longing for freedom requires responsible behavior. Whether I am sitting quietly in a moment of worship and devotion, or feeling the wind brush across my face as I ride down the Trace, I know, deep down in my core that the freedom I enjoy was delivered to me by the blood and sacrifice of others.

My longing for personal freedom wars with my need to act responsibly. What legacy do I leave for my children? What bridges must I build for them to cross and what standard must I set for them to follow? I must always remember that I am called to a higher purpose than self. I must always consider the impact of my actions on others.

No man is an island. We do not live to ourselves, or die to ourselves. Each and every decision we make affects another. Why is it so hard to accept at the heart level that true freedom is found in sacrifice, in putting others first, in seeking good rather than seeking self. Maybe it is in this struggle that we truly find who we are and where our happiness resides.

Help me to understand, help me to surrender, help me to know the peace that comes through sacrifice and not through self.